Memories of my mother.....

August 14th 1997
12 years have passed since my mom's demise......For 4 years she battled with cancer and she lost. I was 17 when she passed away. I still remember the day my parents came back from the doctor with the diagnosis and broke the news to my brother and me...my sister was really young..i don't think she understood. My mom broke down that day...she was scared because she didn't know who will look after us. That day changed our lives forever. Although I couldn't have understood how much pain she was in.....I did know a little bit of how it made her feel emotionally. Most of the good memories I have of my mother are before the cancer was found.
As a child i remember my mother with her face freshly smeared with turmeric, the trademark big, round bindi and wet hair tied into a knot. She was a really good cook. Before any festival she would start preparing sweets and savouries. I remember helping her when she made sweet poli and adhirasam. She would store them in big steel containers and distribute them among friends and family after the festival was over. When I was in my teens she would force me to wear pattu paavaadais/half sari for any function and fuss over me to wear the appropriate gold jewellery. She would force me to wear big, gold jhumkis which hurt my ears.
As children we were always made to help in household chores. I remember when my mum would take us to the market and we had to carry back baskets of fruits and vegetables. During vacations when our cousins would stay with us she would make us all sit around her in a circle. She would have a plate of food and she would make small balls of them and place them in our hand. When I was 10, I had an accident and my mum took such good care of me. These are some of the best memories I have of my mother.
I miss you, maa.....
I missed you when I got married. I missed you when i had problems and didn't have anyone to speak to. I missed you when your grandson was born. I miss you when other people talk to me about their mothers. I missed you when I saw dad feeling lonely. I hope someday when I have kids of my own I will be able to instil in them the values I learnt from you. It has been 12 years.
I still miss you, maa.....